The Matchmaking of Haruhi Suzumiya
by GamingMistress
Summary: Everyones lives are turned upside down when Haruhi makes a comment about what kind of powers an ESPer/Time Traveler baby would have. Pairings KoizumiXOC. Eventual KyonXHaruhi. Read and Review! Rating changed due to language.
1. Chapter 1

The Matchmaking of Haruhi Suzumiya

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>I don t own Haruhi Suzumiya. They belong to the person who created them. I only own the story idea! I hope everyone enjoys the story!<br>*~*~*

It started out as a normal day for me. I woke up as I normally did, and I trekked up the tall hill as normal. I wasn't the first person in the classroom, but there was only one person who hadn't show up yet. I knew she wouldn't be here for awhile. I don't know why I was getting worried about her.

I sighed, resting my head on my hand and looked out the window, just thinking about any random thing that would come into my head, most of the time I thought about Asahina-san and what outfit Haruhi would put her into today. In fact, I was lost in my fantasy that I didn't see her come in. In my fantasy Asahina-san was wearing her cute little maid outfit, and she was serving me tea.

"Hey! Kyon! Did you hear what I said?" She said as she poked me in the back of my head with her pencil. I looked at her and blinked confused, I didn't even hear her talking to me. Hell, I didn't even hear her run into the room! I looked over at her and gave her a look that said, yeah, like I heard what you said. I was really pissed off that she had to interrupt me during a fantasy about Asahina-san.

She sighed a little and looked at me, "Why are you one of the most important people in the SOS Brigade if you don't even pay attention to what I say?" I sighed a little as I laid my head on my desk. She began to poke me again with that stupid pencil of hers.

"I said that you know how I said that I hate normal people?" She said as she leaned back in her chair, hands behind her head. For those of you who don't remember Haruhi's famous speech at the beginning of the year, she said this, "Normal people bore me. I'm only interested in Timer Travelers, ESPers, and Aliens." That was how Asahina-san, Itsuki Koizumi, and Nagato Yuki came to be here. And we are the members of the SOS Brigade, a club that basically does nothing.

I looked at her and nodded a little. "Well what would happen if a Timer Traveler and an ESPer had a baby? Would the child have Time Traveling Powers or would it be an ESPer? Or maybe it would have both powers?" She said to herself as she leaned against the window. I looked at her eyes wide. If what Koizumi said is true, that means that Asahina-san and Koizumi would have to have a baby because Haruhi wanted it. And to create a baby they would have to- Damn Koizumi that smiling bastard! How dare he do that to Asahina-san!

Apparently I didn't say the right answer to her because then she poked me in the head with her damn pencil again. I was about to take that damn thing from her when the teacher walked in and began class.

Well I would be lying if I said that picturing Koizumi and Asahina-san together didn't upset me. Infact, I didn't pay attention to most of the class. I was too busy thinking of different ways to hurt him if he even tried to do anything with Asahina-san! Even though I wasn't paying attention to the teacher, the class went fairly normally.

It was after 5th period that interesting things happened. We had just finished lunch. A girl walked in and looked very confused and nervous as she walked in and handed the teacher the note. I have to say that she was a very pretty girl. She had long reddish brown hair that she had tied back with a blue ribbon, she also have very pretty green eyes that seemed to hold so many secrets.

The teacher looked confused but smiled a little as he read the note and then looked at us. "All right everyone; we have a brand new student. This is Tenno Tenshi, and she just moved here from Canada with her family. So I know that it's late in the semester, but please try to make her feel welcome and answer any questions that she might have about the classes or the building."

Ah, so that's why she looked so nervous. She was just transferring in and she thought that she wouldn't make any friends. She blushed a little as the entire class looked at her. I have to admit that she had a very cute blush.

"Well we don't have a desk for you today, but for the rest of the day you can sit at my desk until we can get you one tomorrow." The girl nodded a little and then pulled up a chair next to the teachers desk as he began the next lesson.

I felt something poke me in the back of my head. I sighed and moaned a little and looked at Haruhi. I was seriously going to take all of her pencils and break them. "What?" I whispered to her. "Don't you think it's strange?" She asked without bothering to whisper, the teacher, however continued the lesson as if nothing was bothering him. I have to say, I'm glad that whatever was wrong with Haruhi, be it that she was a God or whatever. "What do you mean?" I whispered, even though the teacher didn't say anything. "Well she came from Canada! She's transferring in the middle of the semester. And in the middle of the day! That's really odd don't you think?"

I just looked at her and shrugged a little as I looked back up at the teacher, trying to make myself focus on the lesson again.

After the class ended, Haruhi was the first one out of the room, apparently she had a new outfit for Asahina-chan and she wanted to get in on her before she had a chance to escape. I sighed as I packed up my things. "Excuse me Kyon-kun?" I heard a soft female voice say.

I looked up and there was Tenshi looking at me with a soft smile. "Well it's really nice to finally meet you Kyon-kun! I've heard lots of good things about you from Mikuru-chan! I'm so glad that I got to come and meet you!" She said as she bowed a little. She looked so adorable that I just wanted to melt. "What do you mean you've heard a lot from Mik- I mean Asahina-san? You aren't-" I looked at her eyes wide. Oh man! No way, you've got to be kidding me! There's no way! She's got to be just a normal girl!

She looked at me and smiled again, "I'm a Time Traveler, just like Mikuru-chan! I can't tell you if I'm from another time, cause that's classified information!" She said grinning, looking just like a little kid. Okay, I just want to let you know, I am not a pervert and I'm not into the girls who like they are just children!

I sighed a little as I looked around and thankfully everyone had left the room. I looked down at her and sighed a little. "So what is your purpose for being here?" I asked sighing again, running a hand through my hair. "Umm, well my purpose here is to become the lover of Koizumi and then bare his child!" She said smiling brightly at me.


	2. Chapter 2

The Matchmaking of Haruhi Suzumiya Chapter 2

*~*~*  
>Here's chapter 2! Enjoy it! And once again, I do not own Haruhi Suzumiya! It belongs to it s creator! *~*~*<p>

I just stood there staring at Tenshi. She was still looking up at me smiling nervously. I can't believe that she can calmly say that she was going to become Koizumi's lover and then have his kid. Well part of me was a bit relieved, cause that meant that Asahina-san wasn't going to have to sleep with Koizumi! I wanted to give her a big hug, but I just looked up at the ceiling.

"So you're okay with this? I mean, you're seriously okay with this? Having a baby at your possibly young age? And having a kid with someone you barely know?" I asked her looking at her. She just smiled at me and nodded eagerly. "Yeah! I'm okay with this! This is the reason why I came here. I don't mind have to do this, besides, I had heard that Koizumi was really cute and has the nicest smile. And as for my age, that s classified!" I just sighed a little. I didn't want to agree or disagree with her, so I just kept my mouth shut.

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. I swear, I just want to be a normal high school kid, but I guess that's never going to happen. "So does Koizumi know about this? Or will this scare him?" She grinned a little. "Well he knows about this, cause he's my boyfriend!" I about fell backwards out the window. "W-What?" I blinked confused. "Well earlier at lunch we met and shared our lunch and he asked me out. So yeah, he knows." "And is he okay with you hanging out with me? He's not going to come here and kill me?" Tenshi giggled at me behind her hand. "No, he's not going to kill you."

Haruhi ran back into the room a few minutes later. "Ah-hah! There you are!" She said throwing the door open. I sighed a little, hand on my head. She always knows where to find me; at least she didn't come in a few minutes earlier and hear the conversation we were having.

Haruhi'd probably have a fit if she knew that members of the SOS Brigade were indeed a Time Traveler, ESPer, and an Alien. Well probably now two Time Travelers, knowing Haruhi she'd probably be forced into the group. I take that back. It'd be 2 Time Travelers, an ESPer, an Alien, and a half ESPer and half Time Traveler. I shook my head, a little bit annoyed with myself. I could be just a normal high schooler, walking home from class, laughing about something that happened in school today, but nooooo! I just had to talk to Haruhi. I'm not surprised that my future self hasn't convinced Asahina-san to let me come back and kick my own ass!

Tenshi smiled at Haruhi and bowed a little. "It's nice to meet you! My name's Tenshi. And I've heard a lot about you Miss Suzumiya." Haruhi looked a bit smug as Tenshi called her Miss. "C'mon Kyon! You're late for our meeting!" She said grabbed my hand and pulled me away. Teni looked a bit confused and sad, that she wasn't dragged along with her. She just turned away dejectedly. "Umm aren't you going to force Tenshi to join our club? Since she IS a mysterious person who transferred into our class in the middle on the semester and in the middle of the day!" "No time for that Kyon!"

Yuki was sitting in the classroom reading as usual as Haruhi threw the door open. Mikuru blushed a little as I looked at her outfit. Apparently Haruhi had was a fan of Sailor Moon, because she was wearing one of those crazy outfits that they wear in that show. And she'd also done her hair up in the main character's crazy style. Mikuru looked worriedly at me as she gave me a cup of tea. "Didn't you have a new student transfer in today?" She asked me, confused. Haruhi slammed her hands down. "Right! And we're going to investigate her! Isn't weird that she transferred in the MIDDLE of the day? Wouldn't you have wanted to just come the next day? And from Canada? Maybe she knows what happened to Ryoko! Maybe they lived by each other?" Yuki looked up at me as she turned another page and kept reading. I sighed, it was hard keeping up with all this! Why couldn't we just tell Haruhi the truth? It'd make my life a lot easier!

So we, Haruhi and I, ended up going on an investigation looking for anything "mysterious" about Tenshi. Koizumi didn't show up, lucky bastard! But I figured he was probably with Tenshi to make that Time Traveler/ESPer baby! Yuki and Asahina both got to go home. I don't know why it's always just me and Haruhi doing these things together! I mean, I have a life too! First Haruhi somehow got a key to our classroom. (I don't even want to know who she had to blackmail to get it!) Then Haruhi made me check her desk, it was pretty much an average high school girls desk. There was a love note in there that Haruhi read aloud, while she was standing on the teachers desk. Wait! Why is she even on the teachers desk? Never mind, that's probably normal for her. "Take a listen to this! Oh my sweet Teni. You are as beautiful as the angels. You make my heart pound every time you're near! Please meet me tonight at the little cafe', but the train station. Maybe we can share a coffee and some cake? Love, Koi*. What the hell? Since when did Koizumi sign his name Koi? Either he really likes fish, or he was being funny. I shook my head annoyed. He's such an idiot. He just basically announced his relationship to Haruhi! Now she's going to force her to join the club.

Haruhi grinned as she looked at me, "Do you know what this means Kyon? It means that she has a secret admirer! She's only been here a few hours, but this letter sounds like it's been written by someone who knows her pretty well! Don't you think it's strange? But I don't know anyone named Koi in this school. Maybe that's a new person too?" My mouth fell open, are you kidding me? How can she not figure out that Koi is short for Koizumi? But I just kept my big mouth shut as usual. I didn't want to get Haruhi mad; I remember what happened last time Haruhi got annoyed we were trapped in this alternate world for hours. I still had nightmares about those big blue giant things. "Well maybe it's somebody she just met. We can be kind of bold when we write love notes! We always wanna impress the girl we like." Haruhi turned and looked at me annoyed; I quickly threw my hands up, trying to prevent anything bad. "Not that I've ever written a love letter!" That wasn't a total lie. I had been trying to write one for awhile now. But I just couldn't work up the nerve to give it to her. She really intimidates me. But she's so damn cute with those eyes of hers and that smile.

*Note: In Japanese koi can mean fish, but it can also mean love. So he signed his name, Love, love. I hope that I you get the pun?


	3. Chapter 3

The Matchmaking of Haruhi Suzumiya Chapter 3

*~*~*  
>Here s chapter 3! Is everyone enjoying it so far? I hope so! And I don t own Haruhi Suzumiya! If I did, the series wouldn t have been as good!<br>And I just want to say, I don't support teen pregnancy! I think people should wait until they're ready to have a kid! If you are a pregnant teen, please consider adoption! There are families out there willing to take care of your child!  
>*~*~*<p>

Haruhi grinned at me and I was instantly worried for my life. I've seen that grin before. That grin usually means that I'm probably going to be involved in something that might possibly be illegal. Why oh why didn't I keep my big mouth shut? She pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket and showed it to me. "See this? It's that Tenshi girl s address! We're gonna check out her house! We're gonna see what kind of house she lives in!" I shook my head, "And how do you think that's going to help us? I really don't want to get in trouble for breaking and entering!" Haruhi just grinned as she jumped off the desk. "It's only breaking and entering if you get caught Kyon! Now come on!" She said as she grabbed my hand and pulled me away.

We arrived at what appeared to be just a normal house. On a normal street. In a normal neighborhood. Haruhi ran up to the door, finally releasing my hand. I leaned against the entrance trying to get some feeling back into my hand. Y'know, for a chick, Haruhi's pretty damn strong. I think she might've dislocated my shoulder finally. I stretched out my shoulder as Haruhi kept ringing the doorbell. "If nobody answers that means that nobody's home." I said, casually walking up to her. Haruhi looked at me annoyed, "Kyon! Have some sort of sense of imagination! You are one of the members for the SOS Brigade! We have a reputation to uphold!" I looked up at the sky annoyed. We got a reputation alright. A reputation for having probably the world's most pointless club, with a leader who would blackmail anyone to get her way. Haruhi looked around, and then ran around to the back. "There's gotta be a spare key somewhere! There's always a spare!" She muttered running her hand around the door frame. I knew I should've stayed in bed today! Well goodbye squeaky clean record. Hello jail. Haruhi grinned as she heard something fall. "Found it!" She said as the picked up the key. She then turned the key in the lock. I was praying that there wasn't an alarm system set up, but then I realized. This was a Time Travelers house. There probably wasn't an alarm system, but something futuristic that will probably kill us as soon as we stepped inside. Well Haruhi, it's been nice knowing you! I saw her step inside and I braced myself as I partly hoped for the worst. Haruhi glared at me, "Hurry up Kyon! Get your butt in here!" She said after a few seconds. I took a breath of relief. So far so good. No police, no dead Haruhi laying on the ground.

I walked into the house and looked. It looked just as normal and boring as it did on the outside. There really was no evidence that proved there was a Time Traveler that lived here. It kind of disappointed me. I was hoping it would look a little more sci-fi. Haruhi looked around annoyed as she began to dig into the drawers. "Haruhi! This is very illegal! We should get out of here now." Haruhi rolled her eyes as she looked at me. "The police aren't going to get us Kyon. Just relax and look around!" She said as she ran upstairs. I sighed again, as I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. There was a lot of sweets in there. I grinned evilly as I reached for a piece of cake. Haruhi wouldn't mind if I took a piece. And I'm sure Tenshi placed these there for us, probably knowing she'd be investigated. I was about to take a bite when I heard, "KYON! This isn't the time to be stuffing your face! Make yourself useful!" She yelled from the upstairs. I moaned, I should've known. I very reluctantly placed the cake back in the fridge as my stomach grumbled.

I pretended to look around for anything strange. Of course the head Time Traveler person would probably want to make sure no evidence was found and that it looked like a normal family lived here. I did happen to notice that there was an awful lot of baby things including a high chair in the dining room. Well they sure are prepared for this stupid baby. They really wanna make Haruhi happy don't they? I walked into the master bedroom and saw that there were male and female clothes in the closet. Maybe she had parents? Then I took a closer look and my mouth fell open. You gotta be kidding me? They're living together? They just met and Koizumi moved in with her? Well I guess they'd wanna make a kind of normal house for the weird kid.

After about 20 minutes Haruhi stormed down the stairs in a bad mood. "There's nothing out of the ordinary in the entire house! The entire place is normal!" She huffed, sitting on the couch. Well not if you look in the baby's room and the master bedroom. There's plenty of evidence there, but I decide not to tell her. I just smiled at Haruhi, "Sorry about that. Maybe she's just a normal girl whose parents decided to move? I'll treat you to some dinner." I said, hoping to change her mood. She stood up and stormed out. "Darn right it's your treat! And put the key back in it's place!" She said as she slammed the door. I moaned and then I walked out the back door, making sure the door was locked. After placing the key back where it was found I looked up at the house. Is it wrong for me to hope that Haruhi would change her mind about the Time Traveler/ESPer baby? It just seems like a lot of problems that really don't need to happen. I mean, I'm pretty sure neither of them are ready for a kid. Although, if the ESPers just want to make Haruhi happy I'm sure that they've given Koizumi and Tenshi all the money they need to raise a kid. Maybe that's where all the baby stuff came from? "KYON! HURRY UP! I'M HUNGRY!" Haruhi yelled from in front of the house, I winced as I sighed, and walked to where she was impatiently waiting for me. "Now it's your treat!" She said as I joined her. "Yeah. It'll be my treat." I said putting my hands behind her head.


	4. Chapter 4

The Matchmaking of Haruhi Suzumiya chapter 4

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>Here s chapter 4! Please read and enjoy! And you know I don t own Haruhi Suzumiya!<br>*~*~*

When we got to the restaurant Haruhi immediately dug into her food. "It's not like I'm asking for much! All I want to know is why somebody would move in the middle of the semester! And what kind of powers a Timer Traveler/ESPer baby would have!" I sighed, so Haruhi still remember. Sorry Koizumi, you're going to be a dad. Poor Tenshi. I thought of her smiling face. She really doesn't seem like she'd be able to handle the responsibility for a kid. She looks like she's just a kid herself. I wondered what would happen at school. Would she be kicked out because she pregnant? I really hoped not. Although, this would cause Haruhi to have a field day. I wonder if Koizumi would be kicked out of the club. Nah. Haruhi'd probably make the damn kid join to. Cause it's mom is a transfer student who just happened to get pregnant a few days after arriving! I stared down at my drink, and began to stir my drink with my straw. "Maybe something bad happened where she used to live? Or maybe her parents just got transferred suddenly." Haruhi glared at me. "Kyon, you need to look a little more closely at things! I looked in every room in the house, I went through almost every drawer-" She said loudly. "You wanna announce that a little louder Haruhi!" I said looking around the restaurant, but thankfully nobody was really paying attention. Maybe what they say about Haruhi is true. Maybe she can bend the world to the way she wants it. Maybe she wouldn't get into trouble. "You are really going to get into trouble someday. What if they had an alarm system? We could've gotten arrested! And personally, I would like to continue going to high school." Haruhi rolled her eyes at me. "I'm not going to get into trouble! Anyway, I didn't see anything that looked like there were any parents living in there!" "Maybe they just keep a really clean house?" Haruhi sighed annoyed, but then stood up and looked outside sadly, "I gotta go Kyon. I should get home." She said softly. "Thanks for dinner." She then grabbed her bag and walked out. I looked after her worriedly. Great. Now I'm probably gonna get in trouble with Koizumi cause he's gotta clean up after my mess. I sighed and looked at my cell phone.

I woke up the next morning a little concerned. I didn't get a call from Koizumi saying anything about how upset she was and how many of those giant blue things there were. Or something like that. I got ready for school a little tiredly. My sister smiled at me as I got ready to leave. "Bye-bye Kyon! Have a good day at school!" She said as we walked outside. I gave her a little wave as I walked down the street. No sooner had I gotten to the end of the street, but who should meet me there but that smiling bastard himself. "Hi there Kyon. Good morning." I just glared at him and walked away. At least he was smiling a little bit. I guess that was a good thing. Maybe he had a really good evening. "Did you have to sign Koi to that stupid letter?" I asked as he followed after me. "Yeah, I guess that was a big give away. She'll probably ask all about me when we get to class." I shook my head. "She didn't figure it out then. She might've during the night." Well, there was no time like the present to admit you probably royal screwed up. "So umm, was there any action last night?" He looked at me and blinked confused. "What do you mean? I was with Teni last night. So yeah, I guess there was a little action there. Well more than a little." He said grinning. God, I've never wanted to kill him more. I really REALLY wanted to take my bag and beat him silly with it. "Not THAT kind of action idiot. I'm talking about the other kind!" I said glaring at him, hoping he'd understand. "If there was, I wasn't notified about it." Yeah, probably because you're too busy trying to please Haruhi! I took a sigh of relief. I was pretty nervous that there was something really bad that happened and the world was going to be destroyed or something. He looked at me suspiciously. "Why are you asking me about that? You never talk about what I do! What did you do?" He asked stopping me. I held out my arms in self defense. "I didn't really do anything! She was trying to figure anything out about Tenshi! She got upset because there wasn't any signs of any parents living there!" It was then that I remembered what I wanted to tell him. "Oh yeah, and she's probably gonna figure out you're Koi! And that you're gonna be a dad!" He looked at me confused, "What do you mean? You said she couldn't figure it out!" "Yeah, but YOUR clothes are in the same closet as hers! She's gonna eventually put two and two together!" He thought about it for a second and just shrugged. "Yeah well we both thought it'd make living environment better for the baby if it's parents lived together." "A NORMAL environment? You two are definitely NOT normal! You're both just really strange people with really weird powers!" I said very annoyed, walking ahead of him. "And you know if the stupid kid is born, you'll probably have to tell her about you guys! She wants to know what kind of powers it'll have. So that means you'll have to tell her!" I said, walking away from him.


End file.
